


Dig a little deeper and it's crystal clear

by WhisperOfTheDay



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Introspection, Platonic Relationships, Rating for Language, and my hcs are still a mess but anyway, but mostly vent, maybe also kinda character study, shatterdome as family, some might call it fluff and angst, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 09:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperOfTheDay/pseuds/WhisperOfTheDay
Summary: - I wish that I had two faces to prove which theory works -





	Dig a little deeper and it's crystal clear

He had hated that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Hated that he often pushed people away as a result, sometimes never figuring out how.  
  
Most of all he hated that, even though he never could really hide his emotions away from prying eyes, trying hard as he might, rarely the owners of those eyes cared to ask him, talk to him, help him. It almost never happened, wherever he found himself over the lifetime.  
  
It was daunting to know, that no matter how much time and effort and _heart_ you spent on mending other people, people who matter to you, good people, it seemed, nobody would try to do the same in return. He had liked thinking that he hadn't met that person who'd care yet. That had probably been the only thing preventing him from falling all the way into depression, being confident his existence is pointless and worthless.

  


_nobody will ever try to see into your head the way you always do others'._  
  
_the sooner you accept that, the sooner living gets easier. egoists and narcissists never hurt, don't they?_

  
  
  
  
  
  
It so happened that in the end he was proved wrong about _everything_ _._  
  
It seemed he shouldn't have been able to even _survive_ the change the world underwent. Mental flexibility had always been an issue for him, but it stopped being such a pain in the ass once the his own world got flipped upside down, the chemistry of his body fucking him up in ways he never thought possible. From then on reality only stood before him in black-and-white. Simple, but so, _so_ messed up still.  
  
  
And in this chaos he found the person who came to care. _Eventually, heh._  
  
  
Actually, he found many people, who genuinely _truly_ appreciated him... As a person! As a _friend_. Not as a- an asset. It's important to elaborate, yeah...  
  
For reasons he couldn't yet comprehend, they looked after him, bothered themselves to worry about his well-being.  
  
It didn't come at once, of course. There was no shock on his part, as these people gradually became as dear to him as siblings he never had. But often he would stop the racing of his thoughts for a second and 'look around'. Wondering how he got there, when did he finally come to have almost everything he had only dreamed about.

And it only took an alien invasion for that to happen.  
  
Bipolar disorder is a bitch, true, but the worst of it passes easier once you aren't one on one with it, fixating on how _defective_ you are.  
  
Finally, he wasn't alone in his crazy world.  
  
And that's what real happiness felt like.  
  
Short-lived or not, he'd worry about it later.

**Author's Note:**

> The title and summary from Twenty One Pilots' song "Clear"
> 
> Any form of feedback is deeply appreciated ♡


End file.
